40 Weeks

Well hello 40 weeks!  Today we are at 40 weeks and 3 days, and still no baby!  Ava seems nice and cozy in there, and at the moment, I don't feel like birth is imminent, though maybe she will surprise me.  I have thought from the very beginning that she was going to be late.  I just have not heard many stories at ALL of first babies being early or on time.  My mindset has been that she would be born after her due date.  This has been good, probably, because I really don't feel that impatient at all!  Here are my thoughts at 40 weeks:

Blessings:

I feel very blessed to be feeling as good as I do.  For the most part, I have plenty of energy to keep working as usual, keep up with household tasks, and attend the few events we have going on in the evenings.  We also walk about an hour a day.... that's Brent's attempt at getting her to come out and meet us.  Our life has definitely slowed as we wait for Ava.  There are not many things on the to-do list each day, and that is pretty nice!

I am definitely enjoying some sweet time with my husband.  Between Christmas and his five week break from school, we've had many, many chill days at home, which we both love!!  We walk every day, go out to dinner a few times a week, and one day this week we took an impromptu trip out to try a new donut place for breakfast and walk the mall.  I know... gettin' crazy!  Brent has been amazingly sweet and helpful.  The other night he went to the grocery at 7 pm to get ingredients for dinner even though I had all day to do it and just didn't.  He also ties my shoes every day when we walk because I can't anymore!  If we go out and it's really cold, he warms up the car for me and parks right next to the walkway so I won't slip on ice or leaves!

The Lord has really protected my mind and heart in these last few weeks.  I am not great at change, although I am getting better.  This is kind of a BIG change.  If I dwell on it too much or think about too many unknowns, I cry and become very anxious.  For the most part, I've been able to focus on the present and not think too much about the unknowns of labor and delivery and having a newborn.  I know God will give me the grace and strength to deal with whatever comes.  He has blessed me with patience and peace for now.  I'm still reading and learning what I can, but I am never going to be fully mentally prepared, so Brent and I are ready to just do this thing and jump in.  No more thinking!

Small Annoyances:

I think God is preparing me for sleepless nights, because I dread going to bed.  I have always been one to look forward to going to sleep, and I usually sleep very well.  Not anymore!  I wake 5-6 times to go to the bathroom, and I usually have about 2 hours of insomnia each night... sometimes at the beginning, sometimes right in the middle.  My carpal tunnel hands are horrible.  I've been pretty patient and have done well controlling my mind with the pain, but last night I just lost it.  I truly wanted to cut my hands off.  I may or may not have hit the bed and the wall with my useless hands out of frustration.  {Low point.}  Finally, it's just impossible to get comfortable.  My legs are restless and my belly is huge.  I know - sleep won't be good for a long time.  I will deal.

Although I know people mean well, it stresses me out when people say things like, "Enjoy it now", "Get out while you can", "Sleep while you can", "Your life is about to change forever", "Hope you're having fun hanging out with Brent now", etc.  Isn't having a baby supposed to be a good thing?   I mean, people do it multiple times so there must be something awesome about it!  I know people are just trying to prepare me for the reality of a newborn, but I feel like there is intense pressure to "enjoy it now" before she comes.  Hopefully I will enjoy it now AND later.  :-)  Brent is so sweet... every day he says how excited he is for Ava and how he can't wait to meet her and just have her here.  He gives me confidence!  

Daily Life at 40 Weeks:

I'm not very hungry at all.  Usually I'm starving in the morning, but after I eat a bowl of cereal with fruit, I'm typically so full that I can't even think about eating lunch until about 2 pm.  Even then, nothing sounds good, so I've been eating peanut butter and apples or small reheated leftovers.

Everyone asks me if I am nesting.  Yes, I think I am... but that's kind of what I do ALL the time!  I've always been OCD about my house, randomly organizing cabinets and closets, decorating, and cooking.  So, I can't really tell if my nesting is just what I usually do or is a result of pregnancy.  Last week I did scrub the sink, wipe all cabinets, clean out the pantry, dust, clean the microwave, buy flowers for vases, and make sure every last baby thing was put together.  Today I'm going to clean the bathrooms, I think.

My next post may be with pictures of a real baby.... or maybe not!  You'll have to check back to see!